I am a cat.

This is my life story.

Meow meow, I tell my human.

Cat ipsum dolor I'm a cat. Going to catch the red dot today going to catch the red dot today. Hide at bottom of staircase to trip human your pillow is now my pet bed meowing chowing and wowing white cat sleeps on a black shirt so spot something, big eyes, big eyes, crouch, shake butt, prepare to pounce. Hunt anything that moves open the door, let me out, let me out, let me-out, let me-aow, let meaow, meaow! or swat turds around the house yet hate dog have my breakfast spaghetti yarn yet scratch leg; meow for can opener to feed me kitty kitty. Flop over bleghbleghvomit my furball really tie the room together. Attack the dog then pretend like nothing happened leave hair everywhere.

Purr for no reason cat dog hate mouse eat string barf pillow no baths hate everything, eat owner's food or spread kitty litter all over house or purr. Pee in the shoe meowing non stop for food so unwrap toilet paper and sit in window and stare oooh, a bird, yum meow to be let in yet kick up litter or run outside as soon as door open. Claw at curtains stretch and yawn nibble on tuna ignore human bite human hand slap kitten brother with paw. Lies down lick the plastic bag for stare out the window so pushes butt to face. Poop on grasses pelt around the house and up and down stairs chasing phantoms so lounge in doorway, relentlessly pursues moth or cat dog hate mouse eat string barf pillow no baths hate everything so pushes butt to face. Stretch paw at beetle and eat it before it gets away drool, but a nice warm laptop for me to sit on pushes butt to face behind the couch. Step on your keyboard while you're gaming and then turn in a circle sleep on dog bed, force dog to sleep on floor so always hungry paw at your fat belly human is washing you why halp oh the horror flee scratch hiss bite meowwww for climb a tree, wait for a fireman jump to fireman then scratch his face.

Here is some ASCII art of me. Lookit me I am cat.

            ,_         _,
            |\\.-"""-.//|
            \`         `/
           /    _   _    \
           |    a _ a    |
           '.=    Y    =.'
             >._  ^  _.<
            /   `````   \
            )           (
           ,(           ),
          / )   /   \   ( \
          ) (   )   (   ) (
          ( )   (   )   ( )
          )_(   )   (   )_(-.._
         (  )_  (._.)  _(  )_, `\
          ``(   )   (   )`` .' .'
       jgs   ```     ```   ( (`
                            '-'

Hey check out this quote by me. Bleghbleghvomit my furball really tie the room together. Mew mesmerizing birds for sleep and lick arm hair that box? i can fit in that box. Lick the other cats chase the pig around the house so pet right here, no not there, here, no fool, right here that other cat smells funny you should really give me all the treats because i smell the best and omg you finally got the right spot and i love you right now, pooping rainbow while flying in a toasted bread costume in space yet curl into a furry donut and pee in human's bed until he cleans the litter box or annoy owner until he gives you food say meow repeatedly until belly rubs, feels good. Kitty ipsum dolor sit amet, shed everywhere shed everywhere stretching attack your ankles chase the red dot, hairball run catnip eat the grass sniff spit up on light gray carpet instead of adjacent linoleum that box? i can fit in that box.

"i can fit in that box." — Me, before getting stuck in a box

Kitty-approved

Things I like to do (in no particular order):

cough hairball on conveniently placed pants
chase laser
Scream at teh bath
jump five feet high and sideways when a shadow moves
let me out, let me out, let me-out, let me-aow, let meaow, meaow!
leave dead animals as gifts
purr for no reason
hide at bottom of staircase to trip human
i can fit in that box

My daily routine (in a very particular order):

poop hanging from butt must get rid
run run around house
drag poop on floor maybe it comes off
woops left brown marks on floor
clean lick butt
human slave now missing until dinner time
find something else more interesting
i can fit in that box

Putty-tat World Domination

Meow then cats take over the world, for when in doubt, wash ask for petting but lick yarn hanging out of own butt. A nice warm laptop for me to sit on kitten is playing with dead mouse so intently stare at the same spot, so sleep. Purr. Licks paws find empty spot in cupboard and sleep all day but lick the curtain just to be annoying or head nudges sit in window and stare oooh, a bird, yum and cats secretly make all the worlds muffins.

Spend all night ensuring people don't sleep sleep all day always ensure to lay down in such a manner that tail can lightly brush human's nose go into a room to decide you didn't want to be in there anyway sleep nap. Dead stare with ears cocked have secret plans stares at human while pushing stuff off a table pelt around the house and up and down stairs chasing phantoms.

Bengal Cat — (Fig. 1) Bengal cat named Bangie

Cats of the World (Some cats listed by continent):

North America: California Spangled, American Bobtail, Tonkinese cat, Bengal cat (Fig. 1), Munchkin cat, Ocicat, Pittsburgh refrigerator cat, Pittsburgh refrigerator cat, York Chocolate, Oregon Rex, Mexican Hairless Cat, Cheetoh cat, Chantilly-Tiffany
South America: Brazilian Shorthair, Geoffroy's Cat, Ocelot
Europe: Scottish Fold, Kellas cat, Devon Rex, Cornish Rex, German Rex, Chartreux, Birman, European Shorthair, Norwegian Forest cat
Asia: Japanese Bobtail, Kurilian Bobtail, Raas cat, Dragon Li, Sumxu, Siamese cat, Burmese cat, Siberian cat, Peterbald, Toybob, Donskoy cat, Persian cat
Africa: Egyptian Mau, Khadzonzo, Sokoke, African Golden Cat
Oceania: Australian Mist, Russian White, Black and Tabby, Cashmere cat
Antarctica: There are no cats :(